I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
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Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Panties = found
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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