I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
