you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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