Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
