just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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