I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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