i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
