how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
love makes seman taste better
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
