You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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