I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
