i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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