Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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Explain the King Dong next to my face.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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