I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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