Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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