READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
