Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
