porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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