I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
from now on my penis is your penis
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
