Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
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someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
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she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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