I want to have your abortion
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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