Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
