i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
