So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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