I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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