Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
