wat bout pragnant strippers??
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
