White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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