these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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