i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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