my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
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If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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