You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
