why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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