Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize