apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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