I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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