Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
