Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
