I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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