Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

No...more like a life jacket.

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(559): View more from California

That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!

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(541): View more from Oregon

i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.

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(574): View more from Indiana

i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone

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(845): View more from New York

my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe

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(314): View more from Missouri

The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

(219): View more from Indiana

You said that last year...

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls

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(248): View more from Michigan

Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock

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