he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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