you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
FUCK WHALES
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
