Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
