nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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