So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's the barista slut.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
