After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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