I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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