where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
