You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize