where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im holly from the hills drunk
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize