Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
