Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
