She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
