I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
