How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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