I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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