brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize