She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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