i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am one with the molecules
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
