this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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