remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
