it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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