Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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