please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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